Through The Looking Glass: Sometimes, Mom Really Does Know Best

I lost my mom 18 years ago, just shy of my 35th birthday. She'd recently moved to Chico to be closer to us kids, and as a newly-divorced, single working mom, I was both thrilled to have her close by--and nervous that I wouldn't live up to the perfection I'd always felt she wanted from me. With time and reflection, I realize that quest for perfection was primarily self-imposed; she loved me, and only wanted what was best for me.

Her voice rings loud in my head. A lot. I've learned to turn down the volume when I think I hear the critic; she was human and, despite the outer appearance of perfection, she was beautifully flawed like the rest of us.

I’ve been thinking of her a lot lately, not just because Mother's Day just passed, but because I wonder what she’d think of me now. Did she know how much I appreciated her then and now...even though I didn’t tell her when she was still alive?

In honor of a belated Mother's Day, here are the top 10 lessons, spoken and unspoken, I learned from her. Feel free to steal ‘em, it’d make both of us happy!

1. Nurture your creativity: Writer, artist, singer, dancer. Let it out, and find time for it no matter what.

2. Be on time: If you aren’t five minutes early, you’re late.

3. Say thank you: A little thanks goes a long, long way. Say it often, and mean it.

4. Don’t cry over spilt milk: Just get the towel quick and wipe it up.

5. Offer to help when you’re a guest: Get off your rear and help clear the table, or set it, or whatever. Just offer.

6. Look your best: You don’t have to be perfect but dear lord, run the brush through your hair and put on clean clothes before you leave the house.

7. Serve Others: It doesn’t matter where — church, youth groups, sports. Just help out and don’t expect anything in return.

8. Work Hard: Don’t take your job for granted. Show up, work hard and be thankful.

9. Family first: Don’t bite the hand that feeds you. Love your sometimes irritating, annoying family

10. Say “I Love you”: Tell people you love them while you have the chance.

Thanks for reading.