Through The Looking Glass: It's All About Choice

This year, my sister Sue picked “Choice” as her word to live by. It’s a liberating word, giving each of us the opportunity to select between endless possibilities and the power to make decisions for ourselves. It’s got me thinking about its intricacies, simplicities and ultimately, its impact.

First, there are the teeny-tiny, simple choices we make all the time, all day long: Should I have Sea Salt Caramel gelato or French Vanilla? Should I wear the navy blouse or the velvet black? Should I take a nap? (which for me, by the way, is always yes.) I can choose to slap on a smile instead of a scowl, and let the day’s irritabilities glide off my back instead of begrudgingly hauling them around like a bag of old, crumbly red bricks. I can choose to dwell in emotional pain or I can hug its prickly edges for a little bit, cry like a baby then move through it, recognizing pain as a natural part of being completely human.

Then there are the obvious choices based on rules and morals (it’s a bad choice to rob a bank, a good idea to finish school, a horrible choice to intentionally harm someone, not a wise idea to run a red light). And finally, there are the big choices: the whopper decisions we make that shift the course of our lives forever –sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly–shaping us like soft, fresh clay into who we’re supposed to be and teaching us the lessons we’re supposed to learn.

I can choose, I can choose, I can choose.

But whether big or small, we can nearly never predict the outcome or measure the impact of our decisions until way on down the line, sometimes years later, when Hindsight tiptoes up behind us and gives us a rat-a-tat-tat on the shoulder. The trick in choice-making is being able to sit quietly and listen to our hearts when we try to determine the best course of action. To hold ourselves back from picking Door Number One because it’s the easy way out or makes us feel good in the moment.

We’ve got to consciously remember that some of our choices aren’t just stopping by to visit, they’re moving in with us…and let’s face it, some are easier to live with than others.

Good choice, “bad choice,” whatever. We’ve got to listen to our collective gut, make the choice, then sit back and trust that whatever we choose will ultimately provide us with those life lessons that force us to grow into who we’re supposed to be, that give us a chance to look back and go “wow, he really was all wrong for me, why didn’t I see that?” or “dang, now I know why I never should’ve taken that job.” For me, the “wrong” choices have provided the most room for growth, taught me how to be a little more empathetic when I see someone struggling, and made me a little less likely to judge you. Now, I can look back (often with a cringe and a shake of my head) and say, “man, I remember when I did that same thing,” or “wow, she has no idea how much this decision will force her to grow.” Then, if asked, I can share my experience with someone who might be questioning his or her own choices, making them feel a little more at peace, a little less alone as they sit with the result of their own decisions.

My life is simple and blessed. I get to wake up with hot steaming coffee, write, go to work and maybe somewhere in there help someone who’s having a rough day. My choices are limitless, and as easy or tough as I make them out to be. I don’t know what the rest of this particular day holds, let alone tomorrow. But for this very moment, this particular speck in time, my choice is unabashedly, without doubt, Sea Salt Caramel.

Choose a great day.