Through The Looking Glass: Trip Around the Sun

What a difference a year makes. Rewind 365 days, please. It's New Year's Eve, 2009 and I'm about ready to tear into a $15.78 crab from Safeway. I start nicely, ladylike, but after two minutes of Miss Manners I remind myself I'm alone and start cracking like there's no tomorrow. I'm havin a little "party for one," and I'm just fine. Or at least I think I am. I am watching the movie "Wild Hogs," a tale of four 50-year-old men on a motorcycle journey into self-exploration.

Unexpectedly I feel the need to buy a Harley and figure out what's missing in my life.

My mind wanders and I ponder single motherhood and wonder if I will ever be brave enough to reveal my heart and soul to another person, or if I'm destined to navigate the rest of my life in solitude. This thought doesn't particularly scare me, it is what it is. As I plunge into the delicious crab, my wandering mind continues. I start analyzing the dynamics of men and women and giving and taking and compromise and forgiveness. The poor crab in front of me has no chance. I stare hard at him and wonder if he ever had a crab wife and if he did, was he a worthy partner? Did he ever come home late and lie about being down at the CrabShack? Was the sand in his joints really from hanging out with his friends, or was he up to something more sinister? I wonder if the fact I'm devouring him right now is a direct result of his crab-wife throwing him to the shore. Is she cheering me on right now, delighting in every stab of my tiny fork? I snap out of Cynical Crabland and give my head a shake.

It is New Years Eve and I am thinking about Shellfish Infidelity. This cannot be good.

My detour is so ludicrous I laugh outloud... Then I finish the damn crab. Fast Forward to New Years 2010 Some people say you attract what you project. I am happy and I am getting happiness in return. About a month ago-- seemingly out of nowhere, but obviously out of somewhere--I had a huge peace come over me... Almost like an angel swooped on in and put a band-aid on a heart that I never realized was still broken. Since that day good things have kept coming. New Years eve 2010 was filled with fireworks and new friends, midnight kisses and snow, snow, snow. It's amazing what 365 days and a trip around the sun can do. I'm up for another rotation... are you? Happy 2011!